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The Ultimate Wedding Gift Etiquette Guide for 2016

Given the hot, swampy summers we have here in the South, "June" doesn't really hold true as the busy wedding season for us. Fall weddings are popular here and the busy season lasts well into January and February, when the more financially conscious brides and grooms snag the best deals. Really, weddings happen all year long why I'm popping in, post-holiday to give you a wedding gift etiquette guide to last you the entirety of 2016. As a personal finance blogger, I get a lot of questions about financial gifting. Below are just a handful of the questions I've received over the years, so I thought I'd aggregate them all and turn it into a no-nonsense guide.

What Is the Minimum Amount to Gift?

If you're looking for a hard-and-fast guideline the old rule of "Gift what it cost for your plate at dinner" is a good place to start. Typically, plates per person go from $30-40. So if you go solo, that can be your gift, or double that if you bring a date.

An unofficial poll of 10 of my closest girlfriends revealed they typically spend $40-50 dollars on a wedding gift if there is no travel involved and they are only a guest and not participating in the wedding ceremony at all.

Can I Give More?

Absolutely. Wedding gifts are a discretionary expense and you should only gift something that you can comfortably fit into you budget. With that being said, I know plenty of couple friends who received thousands in cash from middle-aged family members and friends of the family. As a young person getting your start, (unless you just make piles of cash and are feeling generous) you shouldn't feel obligated to spend like the Joneses.

What about If I have to travel?

This one is tricky, as traveling for weddings, especially multiple ones in a season can get darn expensive. If it is in your budget then I say, sure, gift a little something, but I know many couples who are simply happy with "the gift of someone's presence."

With that being said, I generally do gift more in dollar amount to those friends whose weddings are local. That's just the way the cookie crumbles for me and my budget.

Are Gift Cards Acceptable?

Heck yes! I like gift cards because they are easy to both give and receive. And if you're traveling, they obviously pack well. I think this is a perfectly acceptable practice (although I've had someone disagree with me..) so I'm going to say feel free to give all the gift cards, cash, and checks you like.

Can I go "Off Registry?"

Sure. I would recommend this if you have a super thoughtful gift you'd like to get the couple and you know them fairly well. Sometimes the most thoughtful gifts come from off-registry purchases. With that said...most couples took time and energy to create their registries, so I say if you want to ensure a gift they'll use, stick to the list.

With the advent of digital registries for everything from traditional wedding gifts (you can often add multiple gifts from different stores and supplies such as Amazon to one list), to honeymoon excursions, to home down payments, it is now very easy to put "everything but the kitchen sink" on the registry.

What About if I am In the Bridal Party?

Yes, always get them at least a small something. You know you'd feel slighted if the shoe were on the other foot. I know it can get expensive being a part of someone's big day, but the thought here is really what matters.

What if I am engaged and we receive presents and then call off the wedding?

Eh, another tricky one. I don't think anyone would expect you to, but traditionally you are to return the gifts if you haven't opened or used them yet. Besides, why would you want that karma around your house?

Do I have to Bring a Gift to Both the Shower and the Wedding?

I have brought my gift to the shower instead of the wedding, although some consider this tacky. So for those of you who hate showing up anywhere empty-handed, I'd suggest splitting your gift budget in two to accommodate for both the wedding and the shower. I'd rather have one nice gift than two small ones, but that is just me.

I have a friend who brings the "nice gift" to the shower and a small card or token to the actual wedding day.

If I receive a gift, how long do I have to write a thank you note?

Three months, according to Real Simple. Typically though, I've received thank you notes as early as TWO DAYS after the wedding, and as late as about four weeks. But please, always do send a thank you note.