Fashion Blogs

The aim of this post is to block a few of those negative associations we all have about our looks in the presence of an attractive woman.

It basically comes down to this. If you think you are ugly, she is going to think it too. I’m pretty sure we’ve all been through this field of thinking. Unless you’re incredibly good looking in which case; feel free to leave this post now and return to your straightener’s.

Acceptance

Instead of allowing physical looks to dictate decisions we should instead practice acceptance. Accepting such things allows us to see them in their true form, which on most occasions is much less than we originally thought, in terms of size.

To accept our physical appearance we’ll first needs to understand what we can and cannot change about ourselves. I had rather bad acne as a teenager which burdened my confidence and ruined many a Saturday night on the town. I eventually got my testicles together and realised that acne is a very common condition and therefore quite reversible.

Accepting my acne as a changeable situation I began scribbling together a half hearted list of other physical imperfections that I could change. The list creation took a matter of minutes yet the fulfilment took months. That’s the next step to acceptance - write a list of characteristics you can change, and then change them.

The things we cannot change simply need to be forgotten about. There’s no need to waste time on things we cannot change or improve, drop them and brush them aside and focus only on what we can change, which you’ll see is quite a lot.

Once I’d listed acne as a changeable characteristic of what I believed made me feel unconfident with my physical appearance I set out researching what I could do to choke the little buggers off my skin. Surprisingly enough, the answer was obvious – seeing my local GP.

After a short visit I was reinforced with the notion that acne was a very curable and common condition that wouldn’t plague me much longer after I’ve finished a batch of tablets. I proceeded and eventually won the fight which instantly increased my confidence to an unimaginative level.

You can increase your confidence in the exact same way using your list of change and change not’s. Once you’ve focused and removed your change list by completing each one you can begin focusing a little more on your change-not’s which can be buried with some very attractive knowledge regarding how women perceive men and what drives attraction mechanisms.

Being good looking is not important for men

That’s right; a man does not need to be physically attractive to attract attractive women (mouthful?). To explain this thoroughly before I get bombarded with comments I’ll enlist the aid of evolutionary biology.

Animals in every generation have random genetic variation, and those animals whose genes are best suited for their environment tend to do a little better, on average, than other members of their species. Over time, the advantage of doing “a little better” becomes compounded, and the nature of the species changes.

Seen in this way, each generation is a competition between different genetic make-ups. The competition takes place extremely slowly, but evolutionary time is very long. Assuming 30 years per generation, each million years allows for over 33,000 rounds of Darwin’s game.

Most of our genetic make-up today is a result of genetic mutations that have come from previous generations. Each mutation that gives an advantage wins out over time.

Success in evolutionary terms can be seen as –

• Surviving until he or she is old enough to have offspring of their own
• Having access to sex partners, to mate with
• Reproducing frequently
• Being able to protect and raise their offspring efficiently

Being good looking does not dictate any of the above items, only aids the endeavour. Instead women look for –

Health -

• Social Intuition
• Humour

Attributes -

• Status
• Wealth

Congruence -

• Pre-selected
• Challenging
• Confident

If you’d like to zip off to the articles and pop back once you’ve finished you’ll have a deeper understanding of what I refer to, but it’s not necessary. Instead, you could just believe me when I say men’s looks aren’t important to women. In fact 80% of the attraction process with men and women comes from the above list in a combination of health, attributes and congruence leaving a petty 20% to physical looks.

To be completely honest, you could be Quasimodo, but if you have the characteristics present in your personality that women desire, you will be James Bond.

Moving on

With the changes made and acceptance granted with the change-not’s you are on your way to becoming an extremely confident man who’ll never need to mutter the world ugly again.

Hopefully I’ve met the aim of the post and shot down a few of your inner negative associations to do with physical looks and helped replace a few with a more positive, reinforced version of reality. Whatever the case may be, it’s time for you to have fun and start mingling together a change list to actively move ahead in your quest for attractive women.

If you've got any opinions on this, please post them in the comments - I'll answer them all