Wedding speeches really make or break a reception.
You want just the right amount of cringe to turn the happy couple an attractive shade of crimson and have the groomsmen cheering while keeping the hoards of great aunts, grandparents and elderly neighbours on-side.
Get it wrong and not only will you have killed any buzz but you’ll also be responsible for making bored guests drink more than they normally would – thus creating a perilous situation for all concerned.
The pressure is real.
And writing speeches is just one of the zillions of tasks you have to do – for free – if you’re part of the wedding party.
In fact, a new study has found that bridesmaids typically spend 43 hours on wedding planning – which, if they were being paid the national average wage of professional wedding planners, would see them earning £326.90 a week.
Fortunately, there’s a company who will take the most tedious task off your hands, by writing your wedding speech for you.
Speech Tank takes the pressure out of poorly recounting ‘you had to be there’ stories from your uni days and promises to turn them into one hilarious, rabble-rousing address.
All you have to do is contact Marisa Polansky and Kristine Keller – the writers behind the service – for a free consultation and they’ll get to work.
Marisa is a book editor and published author while Kristin is a writer based in Brooklyn, so they know a thing or two about telling stories.
You can outline your needs, and they’ll write you a speech or, if you already know what you want to say, you can write out your thoughts and have it refined by the pair.
Their tips for a successful speech?
‘Consider your strengths as a speech giver,’ Marisa tells InStyle.
‘Are you laugh out loud funny? Quick with the pearls of wisdom? A killer storyteller? Think about where you excel and head in that direction. A great speech doesn’t have to do it all, it just has to do one thing well — really well.’