I utterly love it when the fashion press finds a farcical garment toadorn the masses with and tries to flog it to the flock as amust-haaaaaaave (*like "baaaaa", genius). Inevitably, the following pattern is noticed:
1) Endless advertisement of the most pointless (peeptoe-boots?)/oddly structured (peeptoe-boots?)/uncomfortable(peeptoe-boots?)/unflattering(peeptoe-boots?) fashion item.
2)Saturation of the market with said article with prices sometimesrocketing so high, it makes people crap their statement pants.
3)Flocking of your local high street by an endless amount of sheepettesand muttonettes trying very hard to differentiate themselves from theirown flock. Sometimes, they manage to disguise themselves as goats.Clever!
4)3 months onwards, said item figures in said fashion magazines under the headline "Ewe! Totally Baad!" (genius version 2.0).
Anyway, courtesy of ELLE (article can be found here), we are illuminated with the "statement trousers" as illustrated below:
Forgot your trousers in the morning?Just draw on your legs, darling! (and buy yourself proper trousers, work that Dior bag, bitch!!)
Forgot your trousers in the morning?Just draw on your potato sack, darling! (please also lose the little poo on your head)
Forgot your trousers in the morning?Just steal your dad's pyjamas, darling! (is that a ferret around your neck?)I love trousers. I really do. But I dont classify sausage-wrapping material/emergency toilet/alien crotch garments as trousers.
And please! Can those bloody rags lose the hypocrisy? Everyone knows thatstepping outside in these trousers equals instant fashion Jihad !!
At least, we can sleep well knowing that sheep are sacrificial animals. Tee hee!
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