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Tane’al Tucker’s dream of a fairy-tale matric ball was out of the question until Tivashin Deon Govender came along, writes Justin Foxton.

Durban - Out of the blue it happened. A dream came true. A young woman, unable – through a combination of choice and circumstance – to attend her matric dance, was suddenly the belle of the ball.

But hers was no Cinderella story for there was no fairy godmother to make it happen. There was just a boy – a young man, to be precise – determined to make a young girl’s dream a reality.

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Taneal Tucker, 19, of Sydenham, Durban, dropped out of school to care for her sick mother and mentally challenged sister. She is completing her matric at night school and supports herself and her family by selling muffins. Her dream of a fairy-tale matric dance was simply out of the question. But along came one Tivashin Deon Govender of Durban North College. His mom contacted me via a friend and asked me for help with her son’s vision.

This is what her e-mail read:

“This Saturday is my son’s matric dance and he has a special request. He would like his partner for the evening to be someone that has never had the privilege or opportunity to attend a matric dance or never will have that opportunity.”

As I read this e-mail – profoundly moved by it – I began to reflect on the choices we make and the impact they have. What causes an 18-year-old boy to make a choice that is so clearly contrary to the age he is at?

What causes a teenager to park his own desires; to seek the best for another human being?

Now as if all that was not enough, take a read of the lines that followed: “Race or gender does not matter. Should the recipient be female the dress, hair and make-up, including transport to and from the venue, will all be provided.”

Tivashin’s plan does not challenge stereotypes, it smashes them.

Now I am aware that we might hear this story and feel a sense of unease. We should do; such pure generosity of spirit should challenge us to the core. For it demands – in a way that only true leadership can (and that is what he is, a leader) – that we reconsider how we are interacting with humanity.

Tivashin must give us a sense of tremendous hope; he is part of a generation of young South Africans growing up with true concern for others and free of the bigotry and judgementalism that so many of us carry. His story must remind us that our country is indeed healing.

Unsurprisingly the content of this e-mail went viral. Maybe this is because it stirs something deep within us; we all long to make a difference; to “do something beautiful for God” as Mother Theresa so aptly put it; to express the deep love that has been placed within each of us. Perhaps we just lost our way.

Tivashin and his family set about making Taneal’s dream come true. Having selected her from a number of applicants they had just 24 hours to make it all happen.

Sponsors came on board; a magnificent ballgown was offered and a bridal hair specialist and make-up artist stepped forward. The day of the dance the young lady was taken to Suncoast Towers for breakfast before being treated to a facial, manicure and pedicure. That evening she was driven to the ball at the Durban Country Club in a Lamborghini. It was all that she had ever dreamt of and so much more.

Tivashin, I salute you. Even at a young age you have broken through prejudice, stereotypes and the culture of self-seeking that is so pervasive in our time. As your story has gone viral you have inspired countless people – me included. At a time when we so desperately need people to look beyond themselves to the needs of others, you have shown the way. You surely represent a new generation of leader.

Take a bow, young man.

* Justin Foxton is the founder of The Peace Agency. This column is dedicated to the memory of 17-year-old Anene Booysen, who was gang-raped, mutilated and murdered in 2013; and to Mozambican Emmanuel Josias Sithole, who was beaten and stabbed to death this year.

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