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Forty years ago, on May 7, 1977, the 24-year-old food editor of the Savannah Morning News - that would be me - married the comptroller for Food Town grocery stores - that would be Gary. I’ve spent the last two-and-half years writing a food memoir – the story of how recipes and the people who gave them to me influenced my life (no publisher yet!). Included in that memoir is the story of our wedding.

Here’s how it went, according to the chapter called “Happy Little Food Writer”:

“A year after I was named food editor, Gary and I were presented with an opportunity. Helena (Zimmerman, my editor) was moving from her much bigger and better apartment right down from mine on Charlton Lane. However, there was no way that I could swing the rent. ‘We could get married and share the rent,’ I suggested to Gary. ‘OK, when?’ was his reply. So, we set a date two weeks later, May 7, 1977, and invited his parents – Tom and Mona Nesbit, who lived in Statesboro, and my mother, who drove up from Valdosta.

Images: Yellow Bridesmaid Dresses

We were married at 11 a.m. in the Wesley Monumental United Methodist Church chapel, with the Rev. Jason Shirah, father of Mary Shirah, one of my Valdosta, Ga., high school cheering buddies, officiating. The night before the wedding, my mother, Alice Jo, arrived in time for the three of us to go for a fried shrimp dinner at Carey Hilliard’s, a Savannah family restaurant chain that specialized in fried shrimp, fried flounder, onion rings, giant hush puppies and outstanding sweet tea.

For the wedding, I wore a white eyelet dress that I had purchased from the lingerie department of Levy’s Department Store on Broughton Street and hemmed to street length. Gary was dashing in a new gray suit that was only a little too long in the trousers. After the ceremony, the five of us went to The Pirates’ House for their famous lunchtime buffet. That afternoon, not quite knowing what to do with ourselves, Gary and I invited our college friends Marilyn and Pratt Hill to play tennis. ‘We got married this morning,’ we announced over the net.

My newspaper department colleagues did a spoof of our wedding, printing a newspaper mock-up with a headline that read: ‘Food Lady Marries Grocery Store Man.’ We waited to honeymoon until August, when we took a trip to the Florida Keys with another couple.

In May of 2017, we will have been married 40 years – even though we had no bachelorette or bachelor weekends, no engagement party or showers, no rehearsal dinner or reception. Well, then.

I’m not knocking pre-wedding parties or big weddings, as both our sons are now married and enjoyed the full gamut of wedding events and lovely weddings and receptions with vivacious dancing. But big weddings aren’t what make a strong marriage. Gary and I certainly didn’t write the book on marriage, but looking back, I know we did some things right, and Gary receives most of the credit for steering the boat.

He was hard-working, and so was I. We both enjoyed our jobs, and always got there on time and stayed late if necessary. We rarely called in sick. At home, I took care of the house and did most of the cooking and Gary was the yard man – old-fashioned, I know, but it worked for us. We shared parenting duties, and Gary proved to be a patient, devoted, generous father whose strongest suit was and is his ability to listen, something I am still struggling with. We made good friends - neighbors, parents of our children’s friends, and church friends - who enriched our married lives. We embraced each other’s families. At some point, Gary announced that we were paying off our credit cards and purchasing only what we could pay cash for. We did that, and have been able to continue that financial practice.

But the thing that I think made the most difference in my life and certainly in our marriage is the encouragement and support that Gary was able to effortlessly provide to whatever crazy endeavor I proposed. He cheered me on as newspaper food editor and lifestyle editor, and tagged along as my “dining companion” as we reviewed restaurants for seven years.

He has eaten all of the good and bad food that I prepared as I tested recipes for eight cookbooks. He supported my decision to teach preschool at our church so that I could spend afternoons with our young sons. He helped me as I worked for no pay during the year I spearheaded a group organizing a charter school. Later, he stepped up with the household duties when I returned to college to become certified to teach and to earn a master’s degree so I could work at the school. That meant many nights when he picked up dinner or attended our sons’ events alone when I was unavailable.

We have mourned together as we buried my father and his mother and daddy. We have attended the funerals of some of our dearest friends and unforgettable neighbors. Through the years, we came to understand the complex promises we made when we said we would cherish each other “for richer for poorer, for better for worse, in sickness and in health.” As for “love,” we had that, too, but “love” for me has come to mean compassion, caring, forgiveness, mercy, humor, commitment and loyalty.

Gary retired in January, and now we are negotiating a new kind of partnership. He has taught me to do yardwork, and he says I’m trying to “domesticate” him. He can make a mean bed and I am a champion edger. Our joy is spending time with our sons and their families – Zack and Mary, and Emory, Anna Wells and our granddaughter, Lynnon, as well as extended family. We like to play bridge and catch crab and see new sights. We enjoy a good book and are never without one.

So, taking over Helena’s apartment was a good move, and the Food Lady snagging the Grocery Store man was a good catch. I’m sending up a little prayer of thanks for a marriage that has been richly blessed and a request for a little more time so that I can do it better in the years ahead.

Martha Giddens Nesbit is a retired educator and former food editor and Accent pages editor of the Savannah Morning News.

Also see: Pink Bridesmaid Dresses