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Striving to get "Out of the Grey Box"

I am a 27 years old Training and Leadership Manager in one of the largest and most influencial Telecommunication company in Canada. I have been working there for 5 years and managed to climb up the ladder faster than most of my colleagues, and yet I am not convinced that this is the way to go for me.

Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate all the perks that my position entitles me to such as, working from home, getting a paid cell phone and company's laptop, freebies, travels, great benefits package....But for some reason, I feel trapped, in an uncomfortable endless nightmare...My office consists of a grey cubicle, partially shared with colleagues. I get the chills just thinking about it because I know that if I don't "move my butt" or do something quick, I will be there for a very long and sad time.

I ended up in this company as a result of unforseen events; I arrived to Canada at age 19 not able to speak english (I am French), dealing with family conflicts, leaving the family home after 2 years to start fresh, dropping out of university where I didn't find a program that suited me nor could I afford the tuition fees anyways, then add to that the harsh reality to pay bills, live and learn.

So here I am 5 years later from this chaos, with a much clarified vision of what I "AM", what I "should do" and where I "should go": I am a passionate of Fashion, beauty, esthetic, psychology and writing. I couldn't figure this out any sooner obviously but that's not the point.

With that in mind, I decided to go back into my childhood memories and key moments to find out what kind of "suit" I am wearing then, who is the "Real me" and what is She doing?
One thing is for sure, I wasn't wearing a "Training & Leadership Manager" Suit....more or so, a Fashion Editor - Stylist Suit.
I have been reading Fashion magazines since I could remember learning to how to read, I have always been braiding hair, applying make up and creating unique looks for myself or for my friends, so I want to take that road again and discover what lies in there for me.

There is a long way to go and I accept to be called "crazy and irrational", for questioning my current status, for taking the risk to move ahead and leaving it all behind to meet with The Real me, because after all, there is no point of telling a lie specially if everyone already knows the truth.

If you have been in a similar situation yourself, feel free to communicate with me, I am curious to know how you turned it all around.

Views: 41

Comment by bruce on March 18, 2008 at 3:33am
Great ,also I want to do for myself .
You can contact with me .
MSN bruceqian@hotmail.com
Email: bruceqian@yahoo.cn
Comment by Jessica on March 19, 2008 at 7:53pm
Some people go a whole lifetime not realizing who it is they ARE and what they WANT. Do not feel badly about being 27 and just coming to this conclusion. I am finishing a Fashion Business and Technology Program at Fashion Careers College after already graduating with a BS in Business Marketing and Sociology. Quite frankly, I could not envision myself marketing products such as computers, software, or biotech which San Diego is known for so I reenrolled in school to get a fashion education. Everyone thought I was crazy, working and going to school for 14 hrs a day seemed crazy, but in the end when you are working towards something you are genuinely interested in you naturally excel at it and naturally lead a more positive life. I'm not going to claim that its not challenging because it is. However, if you commit to what you WANT you are building towards a future that you are excited about and looking forward to. There are many people in my program that are in their 30's and 40's. So 27 may seem old to you...but honestly in the scheme of things it is not; give or take that gives you about 30 more years in the labor force. For 30 years I would suggest doing something you love. The fashion industry is not something everyone can do and it is an industry that works you hard, however, in turn it makes it an industry full of people with passion. You sound like someone with a passion for fashion. If it's the keystone to gaining personal fullfillment and happiness then I say go for it.

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