Hi there Cocov,
I just saw your images, and am writing to give you my professional opinion.
I used to be a headhunter for fashion designers, and have just launched The Fashion Careers Clinic, which is a careers advice service just for fashion designers, giving advice on portfolios, interview advice, etc. Having worked with major brands to find them designers (inc DKNY, Ralph Lauren, Louis Vuitton, etc), I know what they are looking for in terms of illustration style and presentation. These are your first sketches, so there's lots of time to improve. My advice would be to study the illustrations of other designers to see how different people approach the process. You need to make your figures as realistic as possible, with lots of attention to detail, and make the fabrics look very realistic. Take a look at a good website which shows you how to do great illustrations - this is the standard you need to be aiming for if you want to succeed as a Designer: www.fashion-templates.com. The sketches you have right now are ok, but much too basic. If you are serious about following a career in fashion, you will need to enrol on a fashion course at college to expand your skills. Best of luck with your career!
Hi Coco,
I think that considering you traced the models, the sketches could have been better, however practice makes perfect so don't give up!
I also think that Stephanie Finnan's advice is perfect for you.